Oxygen mask

This weekend, I gave a simple talk about happiness and its connection to evolution. I focused a lot on our need to work on developing happiness as a sort of "skill" we can improve with effort (rather than simply chasing after what we assume will make us happy). At the end, I talked about how important it was to develop our own happiness, because happiness is "contagious". I gave an example of how I helped my mom stay happy by being happy myself.

When I sat down after the speech, a girl in the row in front of me told me that it reminded her of the instructions they give you for operating the oxygen masks on the airplane: "Please make sure your mask is securely fastened before assisting others".


Of course, she was referring to the idea that we need to be happy ourselves before we can think about trying to help others. I've actually thought the same thing when looking at those flight safety instructions. How can we realistically expect to help others be happy, if we don't fully understand the subtle workings of happiness ourselves?

The pursuit of happiness isn't selfish, so long as you have the right motivations (a focus on the happiness of others). That's actually the reason I still focus on developing my happiness further; I'm already happy enough for my own purposes, but if I truly want to help others find happiness, I need to understand how it works, how to get it, and where it comes from.

TEDxBU

I got the chance to speak on this topic (specifically, how evolution makes it hard to find happiness) at the TEDx conference at BU yesterday. I'll post a video as soon as I get it. It was a great event, with a lot of students speaking. I was really impressed with the quality of the other presenters (especially since I thought "if they let me speak, the others can't be that great..." But I was wrong!).

I think I missed the wave of traffic from the event, but if you were at the conference, please leave a comment on this post with your thoughts. Thanks!

Deep thoughts (by Jack Handy)

I was emailing back and forth with a friend, discussing some "deep" topics. We had a discussion about the point in my life where I realized that I'd always be reasonably happy (no matter what my situation -- rich/poor, alone/with friends, in the US/somewhere else, etc.). After that realization, I knew that there was nothing left to do except try to help others as best I could.

My friend asked why the two were connected. I thought about it, which helped me come up with a much clearer answer:

"i think it was basically seeing that i would be at about the same happiness level no matter my circumstances, so there was no need to do anything further for myself. i was "done" in a way -- finished with trying to improve my own situation. But with all this energy and life left in me, what else is there to do but help others realize the same thing for themselves?"

Back to School

After a month out in Cambodia saving the world, it's back to the "reality" of business school (which, in reality, is probably less like reality than Cambodia).

At the start of my last semester, it's finally apparent that this experience is coming to an end. Semesters always begin slowly, so I've had a bit of time to think: what can I do that would be most effective in furthering my goals? Am I pursuing the right goals? I'm pretty confident that the answer to the latter is yes, since I've spent a lot of time questioning myself for the past few years. Now it's just a matter of getting there.

The slow start has also helped with meditation. I spent about an hour a day for 3 days, and felt like I made more progress towards "real" happiness than I did the entire last semester. I really owe most of it to careful reading of this (free) book, which I think is absolutely amazing. It describes what I had been trying to do for the past few years, but in such a clear and concise way that I've been able to turn it into tangible (and energizing) progress. (If you do end up reading it, make sure to take it slow. I've re-read a lot of sections I didn't understand the first time, and it has really paid off).

One closing thought -- lack of sleep definitely hinders progress towards happiness. Get some rest :) (Or pre-order your Lark here! :) )

A ramp into the clouds (on the Charles)