The Buddhist claim is that desire is a fundamental cause of suffering. But you don't need a wise old monk to tell you that. A tremendous amount of music is written by people who lament unfulfilled desires (particularly love), or the desire for their situation to be different.
"I just wanna get next to you" (Al Green, I'm so tired of being alone -- he suffers because he can't get next to the girl/woman he wants)
"I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control. I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul" (Radiohead, Creep -- a string of unfulfilled desires)
"You want it all, but you can't have it" (I forget who sang this, but it's clear that the person he's talking about is suffering because he/she "wants it all")
Even looking at song titles of the "top 10" songs, it's pretty obvious ("Just Can't Get Enough" by Black Eyed Peas, etc.)
Never is it clearer that desire is the root of suffering than when you're right in the midst of it. Life is easy when the intensities of our various desires are moderate, but when they rise to unreasonable levels, their ability to cause suffering becomes readily apparent. Today was such a day. But rather than lament the resultant suffering, I felt a new feeling: self-disgust. In simpler terms, I'm fed up with my desires and the suffering they cause. I have renewed conviction to soften (and perhaps someday, eliminate) them.
Here is a haunting reminder from some Buddhist literature that our own desire is the problem, not the external world.
On one occasion, the Buddha was dwelling at a town of the Mallans named Uruvelakappa. Then Bhadraka the headman approached the Buddha, paid homage to him, sat down to one side, and said to him: "It would be good, venerable sir, if the Venerable One would teach me about the origin and the passing away of suffering."
"If, headman, I were to teach you about the origin and the passing away of suffering with reference to the past, saying, 'So it was in the past,' perplexity and uncertainty about that might arise in you. And if I were to teach you about the origin and the passing away of suffering with reference to the future, saying, 'So it will be in the future,' perplexity and uncertainty about that might arise in you. Instead, headman, while I am sitting right here, and you are sitting right there, I will teach you about the origin and the passing away of suffering. Listen and attend closely, I will speak."
"Yes, venerable sir," Vhadraka replied. The Buddha said this:
"What do you think headman? Are there any people in Uruvelakappa on whose account sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair would arise in you if they were to be executed, imprisoned, fined, or censured?"
"There are such people, venerable sir."
"But are there any people in Uruvelakappa on whose account sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair would not arise in you in such an event?"
"There are such people, venerable sir."
"Why is it, headman, that in relation to some people in Uruvelakappa sorrow, lamentation, pain dejection, and despair would arise in you if they were to be executed, imprisoned, fined, or censured, while in regard to others they would not arise in you?"
"Those people in Uruvelakappa, venerable sir, in relation to whom sorrow, lamentation, pain dejection, and despair would arise in me if they were to be executed, imprisoned, fined, or censured -- these are the ones for whom I have desire and attachment. But those people in Uruvelakappa in relation to whom they would not arise in me -- these are the ones for whom I have no desire and attachment."
"Headman, by means of this principle that is seen, understood, immediately attained, fathomed, apply the method to the past and to the future thus: 'Whatever suffering arose in the past, all that arose rooted in desire, with desire as its source; for desire is the root of suffering. Whatever suffering will arise in the future, all that will arise rooted in desire, with desire as its source; for desire is the root of suffering."
"It is wonderful, venerable sir! It is amazing, venerable sir! How well that has been stated by the Venerable One: 'whatever suffering arises, all that is rooted in desire, has desire as its source; for desire is the root of suffering.'
"Venerable sir, I have a son named Ciravasi, who stays at an outside residence. I rise early and send a man, saying, 'Go, man, and find out how Ciravasi is.' Until that man returns, venerable sir, I am upset, thinking, 'I hope Ciravasi has not met with any affliction!"
"What do you think, headman? If Ciravasi were to be executed, imprisoned, fined, or censured, would sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair arise in you?"
"Venerable sir, if Ciravasi were to be executed, imprisoned, fined or censured, even my life would seem futile, so how could sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair not arise in me?"
"In this way too, headman, it can be understood: 'Whatever suffering arises, all that arises rooted in desire, with desire as its source; for desire is the root of suffering.'
"What do you think, headman? Before you saw your wife or heard about her, did you have any desire, attachment, or affection for her?"
"No, venerable sir."
"Then was it, headman, only when you saw her or heard about her that this desire, attachment, and affection arose in you?"
"Yes, venerable sir."
"What do you think, headman? If your wife were to be executed, imprisoned, fined, or censured, would sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair arise in you?"
"Venerable sir, if my wife were to be executed, imprisoned, fined or censured, even my life would seem futile, so how could sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair not arise in me?"
"In this way too, headman, it can be understood: 'Whatever suffering arises, all that arises rooted in desire, with desire as its source; for desire is the root of suffering.'"
(Transltion by Bhikkhu Bodhi, "In the Buddha's Words" Ch. II.3)
